I’m not happy. Is there a reason why? Yes, me

My own actions have led me, or should I say, have kept me in this same spot for the past 3 years. I try to avoid social media, just for the fact that I become envious of all my past peers who have gone on to better and grander things. Yet I seem to have stayed frozen in time and have not progressed at all. I spend a lot of my nights thinking that tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I’ll make a change that will miraculously alter my course in life and I’ll escape my stale life.

The sun rises,sets,rises,and sets.

Nothing changes, my efforts may have gone on for a few days but nothing really lasts too long. Thats the way its been for the past three years. I tried to find inspiration that would motivate me, push me, drive me to something better. For a time I found something that did, or should I say, someone.

Yet that was short lived, but some good did come of it. I hit rock bottom. Currently, that’s where I am. Nothing feels quite like hitting rock bottom to realize you hadn’t hit it before, but just thought you did till you actually land flat out with the wind knocked out of you.

I’m not happy, I’m not happy with what I have or should I say what I don’t have currently. But now I really don’t have anywhere but up to go.

I’ve made this kind of blog before, yet I always lose it somehow. But maybe now this will work. No correction, this will work. I’ve learned a lot from being down here, the rock bottom. Before this blog was something I made to try and pretend to be someone I wasn’t. I thought that somehow if I could get an audience I could feel some sort of accomplishment, company, acceptance, something, anything. Now this blog will be a reflection of who I am. This post may be a somber one, but that’s where I am right now. Not for long, though. I’ve made steps to leave this all behind me. Not forget, but to move forward. Small steps but forward none the less. So will you join my journey? If so please share where  you are in yours? I’m going to start my new journey here onward. My blog will be an odd little place, but I hope I’ll find a few other odd people along the way who won’t be too irked by my writings, ideas, and different fancies.



Golden PaintI am not much of a painter. I’m much more comftrouble with my DSLR, but at school when i had to take Color and Design I absolutely loved it.

On my return flight back home, I hit a very unfortunate event. I never had to worry about the liquid  carry on guidelines. but when I had to redistribute the weight on my checked baggage i forgot to place back into them my box of paints. I was extremely hurt to thow them away, especially since i had just bought 3 new colors.

Since then i hadn’t the money to spare to purchase more paints or brushes (they were left behind). But thanks to some Christmas money from my Aunt, I’ve been able to go and start buying some of the most essentials.

My mother tagged along with me to Michaels to buy my paints. (they are the only store in my local area that carry the Golden brand) She was a little judgmental when she saw the price tags. but i was able to impress her when I told her that the coupons and a second body could save you so much if you purchased each paints separately.So after 3 different purchases i was able to buy the lot i needed.

I’m really excited to have them again, and can’t wait to show you my new project that i’m starting on, but that’s for another post, so till next time have a good day.

Precious Tigeress

The girl has long since left, but behind she left so many mementos

Of those was my first gift from her. A small little tiger no bigger then my thumb.

I carried it everywhere in my pocket. I held it to always remind me of the one I had loved.

Tigeress was her name.

She had petite white paws, and a little heart stitched on her rump.

I would take her everywhere on my travels and photograph her in her many predicaments that she would jump into.

“Save me” it seemed she would say

and at other times

“Yippe”,  if she could speak that is.

The girl left, she still remained in my pocket. Still me not letting go, maybe, but in pocket she stayed.

Days, Months, and now years passed. Yet in my pocket she stayed.

No more a gift from a past broken heart,but my little adventure partner.

She’s grown worn and torn, and now stays on my nightstand.

Yet still goes with me to any new adventure  in her little spot.

Childish? I don’t know, and it matter not to me.

She’s become my precious tiny Tigress.


Phone call? You mean text right?


It wasn’t till last night that i made a real phone call in months. I’ve made phone call before that but they all were less then a minute. Most, if not all were simply to ask my grandmother what was being served at home for dinner. I actually had a phone call conversation in months that lasted more then a minute and I held a real conversation with someone.

Its sad really. But in todays age its such a common place to just send someone a text. Something really has been lost with not calling someone. I was able to catch up with a friend so much easier and quicker, and the sound of hearing their voice really gives a better indication of how they feel. I mean how many times has someone misinterpret a text and started a fight or argument because the text sounded annoyed, bored, frustrated etc?

There is something definitely special about talking to someone that a text can not provide. Its much easier to make a connection with someone when you can both laugh out loud then by simply texting “LOL”. I think I’ll be making a few more calls then just sending a text. How about you?